Arjo Dan Lasiyem, Santai

Siang terasa terik, matahari nampaknya baru selesai di charge. Terbukti karena ia bersemangat mengeluarkan panas, sehingga membuat planet ketiga dari dirinya serasa mendapat hawa murka. Panas.

Bahkan angin yang bertiup tak membawa kesegaran sedikit pun. Tak juga di bawah pohon yang rindang membawa kesejukan, tetap saja terasa panas. Begitu juga yang dirasakan oleh Arjo dan Lasiyem, pasutri ndagel yang bermimpi bisa membeli J.Co atau Dunkin’ Donuts kelak ketika mendapat lotre dan pula sedang ada promo diskonan.

Siang itu mereka duduk berdua, sembari menikmati teh anyep sisa kerja bakti pada pagi hari di komplek tempat tinggal mereka. Ada juga beberapa potong gorengan, yang juga sisa kerja bakti, pemberian Pak RT. Sembari duduk santai pandangan mereka menyapu luas hamparan persawahan yang penuh oleh tanaman palawija, milik tetangga mereka.

“Andai saja sawah luas ini milik kita ya, Mas.” Lasiyem membuka percakapan setelah hening beberapa lama.

“Lha kenapa Lus?” Arjo melirik ke arah istrinya itu.

“Ya kan berarti kita kaya.” Lasiyem menjawab sembari masih pandangan matanya menyapu ke areal persawahan.

“Hahahaha….” Arjo tak menjawab, namun tertawa keras.

“Lhoh, kok ketawa mas?” Lasiyem menoleh, mengarahkan pandangan dan lamunannya seketika.

“Kamu lucu, Lus.” Arjo menjawab sembari tersenyum, dan kini berganti pandangannya yang menyapu areal persawahan.

“Kok lucu?” Mata Lasiyem mengarah pada suaminya, dengan sorot yang tajam.

Tak segera menjawab, Arjo memilih untuk mengambil gelas tehnya, menyeruputnya perlahan sembari meniup, seolah itu adalah teh nasgithel. Sebenarnya, Arjo mempunyai kebiasaan untuk mengonsumsi minuman seperti halnya teh ataupun kopi, dalam keadaan panas, pun dalam cuaca siang yang juga terik dan panas. Namun apa daya, kini hanya ada teh anyep sisa kerja bakti. Untuk membuat yang panas, di rumah kompor tak bisa menyala, gas habis. Andai pun ada gas, tak bisa juga membuat teh, karena tehnya juga habis. Andai membuat teh, pun tak bisa manis, karena gula juga habis. Maka jadilah, teh anyep itu diperlakukan Arjo selayaknya teh nasgithel.

Lasiyem yang mengetahui kelakuan suaminya, spontan berkomentar “Mbok ra edan mas, teh anyep kok didamoni.”

“Nah, ini Lus.”

“Apa?”

“Hidup itu adalah tentang sikap penerimaan kita. Lebih dari sekadar kaya atau miskin.” Arjo menjawab, sok tenang.

“Maksudnya?” Isterinya penasaran.

“Kaya atau miskin ada pada rasa syukur dan penerimaan kita terhadap kehidupan. Bukan terhadap banyak sedikitnya harta yang ada pada diri kita.” Arjo tersenyum lebar.

“Halah gayamu mas. Lha wong kamu itu kalau kehabisan tembakau dan sedang ndak punya uang buat beli juga cuma kiwah-kiwih kok. Iya po gak?” Lasiyem menyeringai, terlihat menyeramkan.

Arjo tersenyum kecut, “Iya sih, hehehe…”

Kembali tanaman palawija berupa ketebon jagung yang tertiup angin menjadi hiburan mereka. Angin menggoyangkan tanaman berwarna hijau tua itu ke kanan dan ke kiri. Arjo dan Lasiyem kembali terbenam dalam lamunan masing-masing.

“Eh Lus…” Arjo sedikit ragu meneruskan kalimatnya.

“Kenapa mas?”

“Eemmmmm, ga jadi dink.” Arjo meringis.

“Kenapa?” Lasiyem mendelik.

“Eemmm, kenapa dulu kamu menolak tawaran Bu…., Bu siapa itu yang kerjanya sebagai PNS di Jakarta?” Arjo menatap Lasiyem.

“Bu Nyeprik?” Lasiyem menebak.

“Oh, iya. Kenapa kamu menolak?”

“Menolak tawaran yang mana ney? Dua lho tawarannya.” Lasiyem menjawab dengan nada suara yang menggoda suaminya.

“Iyaaa, tahu. Dua tapi satu paket kan, ndak boleh dipisah?”

“Lha mosok nawarin aku biar jadi PNS, tapi syaratnya harus mau menikah sama ponakannya. Aku emoh.”

“Welah, kenapa? Ponakannya juga PNS kan?”

“Iya.”

“Kenapa kamu ga mau?”

“Begini mas, mas Arjo ku yang tamvan dan raja gombal se pedukuhan. Aku tidak tertarik pada hal-hal semacam itu.”

“Maksudnya?”

“Kalau ngajak aku jadi PNS ya mau-mau saja, tapi yang perkara perjodohan itu, mbayangke saja aku geli.”

“Kok bisa?”

“Lha aku tidak suka sama ponakannya, tidak ada sedikitpun ketertarikan, apalagi rasa sayang.”

Witing tresno jalaran seko kulino.”

“Telek jaran po. Sekali ga sayang ga cinta, selamanya juga ga bakal sayang atau cinta. Lagipula ponakan Bu Nyeprik itu orangnya dingin, blas ga romantis. Jangankan romantis, perhatian saja enggak.”

“Dulu pernah pacaran po? Kok tahu?”

“Sempet pe-de-ka-te.”

“Ooohhh, pernah diambung pas pe-de-ka-te Lus?” Arjo bertanya menggoda pada istrinya.

“Pernah!!!!” Lasiyem menjawab dengan nada suara ketus dan keras.

“Whaini, diambung apanya?” Arjo meringis.

“Diambung gundulmu. Kandyani orangnya itu blas ga romantis kok. Jangankan ngambung, kalau ngobrol menatap mataku saja enggak. Cuek, dan aku merasa kalau sebenarnya dia juga tidak suka padaku.”

“Woolha cah goblog.”

“Kok goblog?”

“Lha kamu itu cantik, nyenengke, lha kok ponakan Bu Nyeprik itu bisa-bisanya ga tertarik.”

“Lha yo embuh. Lagian, kalau aku nikah sama dia, aku ga akan dapat apa-apa.”

“Yo dapat tooo. Dapat jadi PNS, dapat pula sawah seperti yang kamu katakan barusan. Anak orang kaya juga toh?”

“Iya sih. Tapi aku ga akan dapat perhatian seperti perhatian yang kamu berikan ke aku mas.” Lasiyem mengerling manja.

“Woooo, wong wedok kok nggombal.” Arjo meringis.

“Beneran mas, yakin wis. Apa artinya harta kalau kita tak bisa merasakan kodrat kemanusiaan kita yang membutuhkan perhatian dan kasih sayang?”

“Ciiieeeeeee. Lha tadi kamu ngomyang andai sawah ini milik kita?”

“Lhaiya. Mauku sih punya sawah jembar kayak gini, kaya, tapi nikahnya tetep sama Mas Arjo.”

Bhadalah, ratu gombal pedukuhan.”

“Beneran mas. Kalau aku nikah sama ponakan Bu Nyeprik, hambok yakin kalau masuk angin ga bakal dipijitin, apalagi dikerokin. Kalau sama mas Arjo kan dipijitin dan dikerokin juga, hehehe….”

“Tapi kalau sama aku kamu ga bisa beli ini itu, baju aja cuma itu-itu aja yang dipakai, karena ga ada lainnya. Teh habis aja ga beli, nunggu ada yang ngundang kenduri sapa tahu dalam besekan ada teh juga gula dan telur.”

“Pokoknya tep padamu to mas, rasah crigis.”

“Besok tak bawakan J.Co atau Dunkin’ Donuts Lus, kalau aku jadi mendapat kerjaan yang lebih baik.”

“Bawakan dari Hongkong po? Lagian mas Arjo mau kerja apa? Udah ga ikut laden tukang sama Lik Boto po?”

“Aku kan mau kerja di mall Lus.” Arjo meringis.

“Lhah, jadi apa?”

“Tukang sapu. Nanti nek pas jatah nyapu deket sama tokonya J.Co atau Dunkin’ Donuts, kan aku bisa tanya biasanya ada sisa atau gak kalau dah mau tutup. Kalau ada sisa aku akan minta barang satu atau dua, bilangnya istriku ngidam. Begitu Lus.”

“Woooo, aku kok jadi pengen pulang ke rumah simbok ya mas?” Lasiyem beranjak pergi meninggalkan Arjo yang celingak-celinguk kebingungan.

Di kejauhan, matahari tersenyum semakin lebar.

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